My husband is annoying..
I am envious of my husband—and, admittedly, often annoyed by him. Here’s an example why.
2/26/20252 min read
On our recent trip to Hawaii, we had a fun moment at the koi fish feeding area at the botanical garden where we got married. During the feeding frenzy, a couple of fish jumped up and created a huge splash that got us.
Our immediate reactions:
🤔 Me: “Man, they’re hungry! I think they are telling us to feed faster.”
😊 My girls: “Maybe they’re just trying to thank us for the delicious treats.”
😎 My husband: “Maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with us. We just happened to be in their splash zone while they grabbed a bite.”
One fact — fish splash — three different stories/interpretations.
I’m wired to make things personal: What did I do to cause this? What does this mean about my interaction with the situation? Meanwhile, my husband has an incredible ability to not attach himself to situations.
My default mindset used to make work life especially stressful. When a stakeholder made a comment, or when my manager said, “Let’s chat later today,” or when someone didn’t respond to my email, I immediately filled in the blanks with stories like: “Did I do something wrong?”
Most of the time, my stories turned out to be completely false. But in the meantime, I put myself through unnecessary mental stress—which also impacted how I showed up.
My husband, on the other hand, works hard too. But he chooses to focus only on the tasks, and doesn’t create interpretations that make things personal. He’s just not great at ‘teaching’ me how to be more like him. Saying things like, “Just don’t think about it,” is not helpful.😂
Luckily I have people like my therapist and my coaches who are great at helping me rewire my brain, and I see the positive impact in everyday moments. Now I get to work with my clients on the same (in a much more methodical, thoughtful way than my husband’s “Just don’t let it bother you” approach).
By the way, I love my girls’ interpretation of the koi splash too. Since we can absolutely choose the story we tell ourselves, why not pick a good one? The situations we face may not be easy to change, but it’s absolutely possible to choose a story that serves rather than hurt us.
✨What’s a situation you are in right now that’s causing stress? What are the facts, and what stories are you telling yourself? What’s another interpretation you can choose to serve you better?
