I hugged a sr exec, and it was Awkward!

I hugged a senior exec at a work event. And it was… awkward.😬

This happened while I was at Google. I was transitioning from a first line manager into a more senior leadership role.

I had just gotten a lot of feedback and advice:

🫵“Be more confident.”

🫵“Speak up more.”

🫵“Be more visible.”

🫵“Build rapport with senior leaders.”

As an introverted Asian woman in corporate leadership, it felt like being me was not enough. Like I needed to become someone else in order to keep accelerating.

So I started pushing myself:

😓I volunteered to present at any senior meetings.

😓I showed up at every work function.

😓I said yes to invites, even when I wanted to stay back.

And then came that exec event.

I saw the senior leader greeting a few people with warm hugs.
So I walked up… and hugged him too.

He looked at me, and said, “um, and you are…”
I was embarrassed. I was deflated.

I felt so drained, and I felt so lost.

My pendulum had swung too far the other way.

I’d gone so far trying to be what others expected, I lost sight of who I was—and who I wanted to be.

Over time, I learned that growth doesn’t require a personality overhaul.

I didn’t need to abandon my quiet strengths and become someone else.

I just needed to make small, intentional adjustments—and define what strong leadership looks like, for me.

Now, my clients bring similar challenges they face, and we unpack feedback they receive in our sessions:

“You’re too harsh.”
“Be more confident.”
“Tone it down.”
“Speak up more.”

The goal is to not let the pendulum swing to the other extreme.

The goal is to reflect, and define:

✨What good looks like, to me?

✨What intentional adjustments can I make, without losing who I am?

You don’t have to abandon your strengths to grow.
You just need to find a version of change that feels true to you.

💬 Have you ever overcorrected after receiving feedback?
What helped you find your way back to center?